| hello blue moon |
[Nov. 4th, 2009|02:05 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  energetic | ] |
I've been keeping a journal lately, for the first time in my life. It's an actual, IRL journal that I keep by my bed. It's pretty serious shit, and most of it I don't want to share with anyone.. so if you think I'm a steady-chillin type of cat who has it all figured out, I'm telling you it's fucking Vietnam in my head (jk). Here's something from it that isn't too personal, and that I like (I wrote it for myself so I didn't mind it making little sense):
"I want a way to express something I have never experienced before. I want to intoxicate with my words. Not sentimental, not dry. No, dripping with truth and life <-- no, more than that...Could I really be convinced even a little by logos philosophy/theology? The pretty things that I remember from driving through places in California, sitting in the backseat with my headphones on; they have become a symbol for the fecund Divine Ground that I have read about. I have made my nostalgia into my soul's yearning for unity with its Source. Perhaps this is a testament to the limits of my sweetest of senses: sight. The green hillsides, treetops, sparkling waters, sunbeams shining over my eyes, the sky that is so big and so blue. Can I not enjoy these things without it hindering my sight of what is beyond them all? Hills, trees, waters, and even stars will come and go. I will also have to go as well [So! God really can move mountains]. But, wrapping my head, or trying to, around such inconceivable things may only send me into a passing daze-like state that may have no real change on my perception. This light, ethereal, hazy state of mind may not bare any fruits [this is why I should meditate - it is much better]... if my brain were a sea vessel, the captain is lost and confused."
And I made this the other day after discovering that using iMovie is hella easy. I'm trying to get yelled at and damned to hell over the internet.
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| Rakim Allah |
[Apr. 17th, 2009|11:09 pm] |
I recently discovered Eric B and Rakim and have been listening to this song every day like a dozen times. Rakim is one of those MCs and music artists that artists of the same genre gush over and maybe even overrate, but I didn't know why upon first listen. I just saw Rakim on some dumb VH1 100 greatest countdown and decided to check him out. About four and a half minutes through "My Melody" I kinda thought to myself, "godDAMN!" Dude flows on a 7 minute song and not one boring moment. His lyrics seriously sound like they're just flowing from his mouth effortlessly but relentlessly. If anyone has any doubt that hip hop is an art form, they should check this guy out. |
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| COMMENCE THE INANITY |
[Mar. 20th, 2009|07:42 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Wu Tang - CREAM | ] |
I've kinda realized that I don't update this thing until I feel like I have something really good to say. So as a result, I never post. But no longer!!!!
This is my new wallpaper. I love the ambiance. I'll probably keep it longer than the average wallpaper.
I got an Arabic for beginners book from the library the other day. Right now I'm looking for someone who might like to learn with me, with not much success. It's really fun to learn a new alphabet and when the indecipherable scribbles start to make sense. The Arabic alphabet has a lot in common with the Hebrew, which is cool.
Overheard on the TV in the other room: "Don't come closer.. I have rabies." |
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| Huh |
[Mar. 4th, 2009|01:31 pm] |
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My icon is different and I didn't change it. Weird. I like it, though. |
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| relationships |
[Feb. 16th, 2009|05:28 pm] |
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I need to stop conducting them with one foot out the door. |
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| Do you like polar bears?!?1 |
[Dec. 26th, 2008|12:39 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Deerhunter - Dr. Glass | ] |
Sup internet. I started working for Greenpeace a week ago as a frontliner, one of those people who bother you on the streets for money. I like it for the most part, especially since everyone I work with is really cool and the fact that instead of putting on what's often a fake smile to sell you a latte, we sell memberships to Greenpeace! I've gotten refusals from people for a variety of reasons in just my five days of canvassing; "I don't support terrorism," "good goals, wrong methods," "climate change is not man made - I know more than you ever will." That last one kills me, but most others are pretty easy to shake off. Fuck off, Nazi church moms.
Getting sign-ups is cool (lets me keep my job), so is getting the people who stop because they're young women and you're a young man. SUP LADIEZ IM ALL CONCERNED N SENSITIVE NSHIT HOLLA. The people I like the most are the ones who stop and want to have a conversation/debate with you. My knowledge of the issues I am basically fighting for out there really isn't super extensive and I wouldn't ever pretend that it is. That's why it's really cool when cats who know a bit more than you come up to you in order to challenge you whilist giving your spiel about some environmental issue.
Greenpeace is absolutely opposed to nuclear power, but from what I hear it's more complicated than being flat out good or bad. France is largely nuclear powered and seems to be doing fine. My understanding is that if we're going to reach the goals that we'd LIKE to set for the US, relying on nuclear power to cut 20% of our carbon emissions by 2020 isn't feasible because nuclear power plants take much longer for planning and constructing than most of the other renewable energy sources do. But I don't know everything. The other campaign people take issue with is our stance on GMOs. One example I heard of was about our stance on the use of Golden Rice, rice genetically fortified with Vitamin A, in India to help reduce blindness. We've basically said that the crop wouldn't supply enough Vitamin A to have a significant impact while some GM groups say Greenpeace distorts/exaggerates the facts regarding the eco-friendlyness of GM crops and other bits information put forth by GMO proponents. I wouldn't be at all surprised if Greenpeace has said things to cover its ass as it is a big player in the political arena. But sir/ma'm, we are politically and financially independent and have stayed that way for 38 years with the support of people like you! But still, I think it's important get behind something, to actually get organized politically if you're going to bitch about an environmental or social issue. I feel like I'm doing more good than bad...
It's gonna be nice having a paid vacation until the 3rd and to have lots of time to research what exactly it is I'll be representing wearing my Greenpeace jacket every day. One thing I think people don't understand is that is no such thing as a saintly political group. Well, I think. We no doubt get more members among students, women, and people who have liberal party loyalties, inadvertently playing to demographics who already sympathize with what we're trying to accomplish. So I know firsthand our members aren't unbiased. But hey, welcome to the human race. I was definitely given the impression during training that we are an organization that totally stands up for truth, justice, equality, and are basically an idealist's wet dream. After the break I'm going to try and take some time with my bosses to iron out some discrepancies I find with what we say we do. Hypocrisy bad. |
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| Mysticism |
[Dec. 12th, 2008|02:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Schooly D - "I Don't Like Rock N Roll" | ] |
As I told Alani and Justin at Mojo's last night, whether they remember or not, I said I would LJ about how my perspective has changed over recent years and how I've pulled myself out of the hopeless, depressing slump I was in for a few years. Not to give the impression that anyone actually wants to read this very long, not super-readable essay. It's actually the first chapter of Evelyn Underhill's Mysticism, one of what I call life-saving books that I have come across in recent years. Sorry for making a bit of last night "The John Show." I really hate when that happens. But for anyone who has time or desire to read this, "!!!!!!!!!!!" The writings of Underhill and the saints and theologians whom she cites I can't tell you how important have been to my health and outlook on life. This chapter, titled "The Point of Departure," is a denunciation of mental-masturbation, complacency in one's convictions, and is for me what I was searching for ever since the universe grew teeth:
The most highly developed branches of the human family have in common one peculiar characteristic. They tend to produce—sporadically it is true, and often in the teeth of adverse external circumstances—a curious and definite type of personality; a type which refuses to be satisfied with that which other men call experience, and is inclined, in the words of its enemies, to “deny the world in order that it may find reality.” We meet these persons in the east and the west; in the ancient, mediaeval, and modern worlds. Their one passion appears to be the prosecution of a certain spiritual and intangible quest: the finding of a “way out” or a “way back” to some desirable state in which alone they can satisfy their craving for absolute truth. This quest, for them, has constituted the whole meaning of life. They have made for it without effort sacrifices which have appeared enormous to other men: and it is an indirect testimony to its objective actuality, that whatever the place or period in which they have arisen, their aims, doctrines and methods have been substantially the same. Their experience, therefore, forms a body of evidence, curiously self-consistent and often mutually explanatory, which must be taken into account before we can add up the sum of the energies and potentialities of the human spirit, or reasonably speculate on its relations to the unknown world which lies outside the boundaries of sense.
( The Point of Departure ) |
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| Z'EV |
[Nov. 23rd, 2008|12:42 am] |
This strange man has just saved my academic career!!! |
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| Of course! |
[Nov. 11th, 2008|10:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  ah-ha | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Mark Morrison - Return of the Mack | ] |
Only seven planets besides our own were visible to the ancient world! |
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| a few things |
[Oct. 30th, 2008|07:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  melancholy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Dutchess & the Duke- You Can Tell the Truth, Now | ] |
Last night, I dreamt for the second time about a house on a corner. It was at night again, and there were mischievous deeds happening within. It was the same house. Its front door was toward the street, and a cross street ran along the left side of it. I think it might be the subliminal combination of Bryan Hamann's, Scott and Rudy's old house, and my own. At all of these houses mischievous deeds have taken place.
I invented a word: 'cognitive-poverty.' One can experience this when tired, hungover, or being generally drained. I get really irritable when in states like these, but I don't think it's a logical reaction to have. It's a tendency, but not a true. I'm trying to walk through these times with the perspective that I can't do anything about how I'm feeling, and if I am doing something, it's the most that can be done at that moment. When it comes to when you're feeling crisp and chipper, but the world just isn't turning the way you'd like, that's different. In either case: give up.
I am way too attached to Millie. We actually talk with one another - it's sort of pathetic. But I can't help it! She'll yap at me a couple 'mrows' and I'll yap back. I ask her how her day was, if she wants food, tell her that I disapprove when she picks on Lola. She can even tell when I'm smiling at her and she'll smile back. GOD HELP ME. I would be absolutely devastated if anything were to happen to her. Considering how much she comes running through the cat door, poofy-tailed and pissed off, having obviously just had a confrontation with another cat, I don't think her life-span could be that long. As I try to appreciate things despite how transient I know they are, I think to myself that love is not attachment. Love is fearless.
I get to study places like this in school. |
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| The distinguished Charles D |
[Oct. 17th, 2008|12:23 pm] |
Last night, Chuck D came to my campus to talk about the significance of Tommie Smith and John Carlos raising their fists at the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City. It was pretty awesome. He's got a really tangential way of speaking, which I suppose is good for a rapper's mind, but all in all it was inspiring to listen to him. Like the fanboy I am I took some video, basically turning my camera on when I thought it was about to get interesting, with some success.
short video
long video
( PE vids for shit's sake ) |
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| tip of an iceberg |
[Sep. 29th, 2008|01:39 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  okay | ] |
I should be studying for my first midterm right now.
I feel like I've been too busy to be introspective lately. I've spent most of my life being an introvert and I still consider myself one, but lately I feel like I've been cheating myself, or cheating ON myself, which doesn't make sense. People judge, but the past doesn't. Anyway, it makes me want to run away to the Himalayas, but don't worry, I'll let you know before I do. It would be very hard to live as an ascetic and still have a social life in college.
Studying so much religion lately has kind of made me want to officially adopt a religion, but if I did, I wouldn't half-ass it. I think that's what's stopping me. That, and the fact that I don't know if I would run into any other adherents of any religion that would approach it the same way I did, except maybe Buddhists or Hindus. Becoming a Christian would be beneficial because I would be taken more seriously when talking with other Christians about theological issues (a shallow reason, I know, it'd be a perk I couldn't avoid living in this country), Islam would be good because for one, it's fashionable, two, I'd have another reason to learn Arabic, and three, it'd be a slap in the face for all the negative stereotypes floating around these days. Judaism I could never do. Why don't you all vote and decide for me?
Dreams are important. Do you understand this? They are not just free movies. Lately I've been getting better at sensing when I'm going to have a bad dream, or when I'm going to dream at all before going to bed. Last weekend, I dreamt about three different girls over the course of three consecutive nights. The roles each girl played were different, but still, I think I need a girlfriend.
I like this video. |
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| I <3 moobies |
[Sep. 27th, 2008|02:22 am] |
This is a video I made. I had fun making it it - I wanna make more. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2008|11:39 am] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Soft Location | ] |
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| I'm gonna be in a book. |
[Jun. 30th, 2008|04:45 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  what | ] |
Hi, I'm contacting you today because I'm working with Sep Kamvar and Jonathan Harris on a book about feelings on the web. We found an image on your blog that we found beautiful, and we wanted to get your permission to use it in the book. The book is based on the website We Feel Fine (http://www.wefeelfine.org). In return, we will give you a free copy of the book, signed by the authors, and an invitation to the book launch when the book comes out. A description of the site is below. I'd love to hear back from you and if you provide a mailing address, we can send you a permissions form. Since August 2005, We Feel Fine has been studying human feelings from a large number of weblogs. Every few minutes, the system searches the world's newly posted blog entries for occurrences of the phrases "I feel" and "I am feeling". When it finds such a phrase, it records the full sentence, up to the period, and identifies the "feeling" expressed in that sentence (e.g. sad, happy, depressed, etc.). The result is a database of several million human feelings, increasing by 15,000 - 20,000 new feelings per day. Using a series of playful interfaces, the feelings can be searched and sorted across a number of demographic slices, offering responses to specific questions like: do Europeans feel sad more often than Americans? Do women feel fat more often than men? Does rainy weather affect how we feel? What are the most representative feelings of female New Yorkers in their 20's? What do people feel right now in Baghdad? What were people feeling on Valentine's Day? Which are the happiest cities in the world? The saddest? And so on. At its core, We Feel Fine is an artwork authored by everyone. It will grow and change as we grow and change, reflecting what's on our blogs, what's in our hearts, what's in our minds. We hope it makes the world seem a little smaller, and we hope it helps people see beauty in the everyday ups and downs of life. Thank you very much for your time, Sincerely, Matt |
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| Casa |
[Jun. 4th, 2008|11:22 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | weird | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | So Cow | ] |
blanca.
Questions:
-Why do you bob your head to the music?
-What makes more sense - loud colors or bright sounds?
-How do you know you have a head?
I really hope Obama doesn't get shot. Was there any doubt for the past few months that he was going to get the democratic nomination? No. But we still had the news on all day yesterday. I really hope Clinton doesn't get the VP nomination. I just don't like some of the things she has said, especially regarding Iran and Israel. As of late, nothing has gotten me more worked up than politics. When I hear something on the radio that I think is wrong or bullshit, I'll emphatically flip off the dial. RATM and Public Enemy make me lose my shit. Conservatives who are who they are because they support small government and want lower taxes and yadda yadda are fine, but geez. Aren't there more important things than your own wallet? It seems to me like it's assumed that if you're going to get involved in politics and act like you know something, you're expected to know about all the issues that being left or right is associated with. I have this impression from encountering assholes. I really don't know about every political issue or even have an opinion on some, and I think the whole notion that you're either right, left, or moderate is only useful for political candidates who need a quick way to let people know who they are. Fact is, it's business as usual at Washington as Iraq is being bled and coerced into becoming our buddies.
Have any of y'all heard anything about the Illuminati or any other secret societies which supposedly control the world? Check out the work done by Antony Sutton. I've been looking into it lately and am starting to believe it's true. Oh no!
I know it's important to realize that your side of the truth is just that, and there's always information you haven't heard and perspectives you haven't thought of. I should probably talk to more people than myself. But but but I listen to people who I think are smart and whose judgement and character I have faith in. Is that a mistake? Maybe. I found out recently that SJSU offers a minor in Middle Eastern studies which I think I'm gonna sign up for. That should help. Plus, a lot of my major courses overlap into it. |
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| DRINK POSITIVE |
[May. 6th, 2008|02:44 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  drained | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | RKL | ] |
None of you realize it, but I am doing homework. Right now. Typing this!
It's 3am, I have had too much caffeine, I have a headache, and I just finished one paper, motivated by the fact that I have to start another paper that is due tomorrow which I probably won't.
Lately, I have been interested in my family heritage. I think it would be the most awesome trip to visit England, Scotland/Ireland, Germany and Sweden to check out where my ancestors lived. It would be real cool to get that overwhelming feeling of being home, which I think most people just imagine whenever they travel to a foreign country from which their great(x) grandparents emigrated. As soon as school is over, which I can not wait for, I want to learn about the mythology and folklore of my distant native lands. I see it as tapping into the shared imagination of people who lived hundreds of years ago - like how we all today can talk about the same movies and stories we were told growing up or going to school, but I guess you can apply that to learning about anything related to history.
http://www.google.com/press/intl-zeitgeist.html
This website is interesting. It tells you the top 15 monthly google searches of 46 major countries around the world. Taiwan is learning English while I am not learning Taiwanese. The UK is obsessed with WW2. Serbia apparently loves birds. There's a lot of gamers in Poland. Japan is concerned with Tibet - Korea with Cambodia.
Wow I am looking forward to Summer. |
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autisticbliss's journal